A woman who set herself on fire while she was pregnant in a bid to escape horrific abuse at the hands of her husband is now helping other victims fight back against stigma that has seen her branded a devil.
Neehaari Mandali, 32, a Plastic and Cosmetic Surgery Counsellor from Hyderabad, India, was just 20 years old and three months pregnant when she self-immolated after dousing herself in kerosene. She had burns to 55 percent of her body, suffered serious third and fourth-degree burns, and lost her unborn child.
Since then, she forked out over £40,000 in 27 surgeries to reconstruct her body and face from the severe burns and damages. Neehaari was a victim of physical, emotional and sexual violence at the hands of her husband, with whom she tied the knot at just 19 after her parents arranged the marriage.
Her husband, who was from her hometown of Puritigadda in Andhra Pradesh, started abusing her just two weeks into their marriage, and didn't stop even when they found she was pregnant. She received no support from any family member or friend, and, feeling there was no other option, attempted suicide.
She survived the initial ordeal, but was bedridden for nine months and had no support from anyone. The problems and abuse didn't stop even after she left hospital, as she was met by cruel people who called her names and refused to support her even after she was burnt.
She said: "No one stood by me when I went through it and I got all negative comments. People trolled me and called me an unfit person who was dependent on everyone. They told me I had lost my identity and I had wasted my life. They told me all I could do then was sit at home and not go out."
"I was physically alive, but I was dead mentally and emotionally because of the way people treated me. But the cruel comments didn't stop there. Neehaari still receives awful comments from people around her, recollecting one that hurt her badly. One day I was waiting for my cab when a five year old boy threw a stone at me and called me a devil."
"I was not angry at the boy, but I was angry at his parents. I was so hurt. People treat me differently. If I am out with my friend, the salespeople don't answer my questions and treat me differently. I remember going for a job in 2014, five years after the accident, and the HR person asked me to remove my gloves and show my face."
"When I did what he asked, he threw my resume and told me that they will never give me a job. Travelling in a cab or an auto is a nightmare too as people treat me badly. These people are physically fine, but they are burnt mentally." When she met other burn survivors, she realised that society treated them all badly.
It was then that she decided to study more and start an organisation for burns survivors. She said: "I am a victim myself but I want to support other victims. That is why I started Burns Survivor Mission Saviour Trust to offer free of cost reconstructive surgeries for post burn deformities and guidance for fresh burn people.
"Burns are a taboo in our society and I want to change that. We have sponsored and organised more than 150 reconstructive surgeries around the country. I want to tell the burn survivors all over the world that they are not alone and we are there to help them."
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If you need a response immediately, it’s best to call them on the phone. You can reach them by calling 116 123, by emailing jo@samaritans.org or by visiting www.samaritans.org
