Ange Postecoglou can't hide from brutal Tottenham reality after setting unwanted record

It's official - this is the worst Tottenham Hotspur team in Premier League history. After the cheerful distraction of reaching the Europa League final, normal service was resumed with a record 20th defeat in 36 games on the home front.

Does it matter if Spurs end 17 years without a trophy in Bilbao next week and win the golden ticket to the Champions League? Absolutely not - but if they finish the season empty-handed again, the inquest into Tottenham’s valiant contribution in the race to the bottom will be unforgiving.

Palace’s dress rehearsal for their FA Cup final with Manchester City on Saturday was pitch-perfect, and two-goal Eberechi Eze led the confiscation of sweets from kids in the playground with his latest swaggering, stylish masterclass.

But this was simply embarrassing from Spurs. They are lucky it wasn’t five or six.

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If Ange Postecoglou thinks they can just turn on the taps against Manchester United in Basque country next week, he’d better hope the stopcock is in better working order than this shower. In his programme notes, Big Ange tuned into the air of renewed optimism in N17 and declared: “We know we’ve given you hope, something to dream about and we believe we can achieve something special this season.”

Where Palace counterpart Oliver Glasner went pretty much full-tilt, with nine of his semi-final starting XI on parade, Spurs boss Postecoglou plugged in his tumble-dryer and went for rotation.

Only captain-for-the-day Rodrigo Bentancur, Dejan Kulusejkvski and Pedro Porro of the names from the Aussie growler’s tombola here are likely to start in the Europa League final. It’s just who we are, mate.

In fairness, Tottenham only got home from their midweek excursion into the Arctic circle at 4.30am on Friday morning, but old habits die hard at the Lane and they were booed off anyway.

Within two minutes, that well-known Chas and Dave cup final anthem, Spurs Are On Their Way To Bilbao, was raining down from the giant south stand, but it was Palace who called the tune. Ismaila Sarr was only denied an early breakthrough by VAR detection of Jean-Philippe Mateta’s shoulder being offside in the build-up when the rest of him was inside his own half. God bless technology.

With Djed Spence awarding himself the afternoon off, allowing Daniel Munoz free rein to run riot down Palace’s right flank, what followed was more one-way traffic than a supermarket checkout conveyor belt.

Antonin Kinsky fumbled Munoz’s volley like a bar of sap in the shower, blocked Mateta from close range, pushed Chris Richards’s header against the bar and foiled Mateta again with his trailing leg. Throw in Marc Guehi’s disallowed effort after another pesky VAR intervention and Eze’s 25-yard shot deflected inches wide, and Palace should have been out of sight by the interval.

As it was, they only had Eze’s tap-in, after Munoz escaped the AWOL Spence yet again, bang on 45 minutes to show for their vast superiority. Three minutes after the restart, at least there was a more realistic gulf between the sides as Eze started a rapid break with a sumptuous pass to Sarr, and when it came back to him 12 yards out there was nobody in the same postcode to prevent him making it 2-0.

Kevin Danso was spared the ignominy of an own goal by Kinsky’s reflexes, substitute Eddie Nketiah squandered a late one-on-one… and, frankly, nobody cared.

It’s all about Wembley for Palace and all roads lead to Bilbao for Spurs. But as preparations go, this was ideal for Glasner and lousy for Postecoglou.

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