Strictly's Jay McGuinness' sobs on pilgrimage for The Wanted bandmate Tom Parker

Jay McGuinness was overwhelmed with emotion as he embarked on the newest season of the 's .

When pop star died from cancer in 2022, his good friend and bandmate found himself overwhelmed with grief and questioning his belief system.

Now in Pilgrimage: The Road Through The Alps, Jay embarks on a search for answers. But what begins as a trek across breathtaking mountain landscapes soon transforms into something far deeper. “I cried more than I’ve ever cried,” says Jay.

Beginning on Easter Sunday, the three-part show brings together seven well-known faces from different backgrounds, with a range of beliefs and perspectives.

Joining Jay are presenter , actress and comedian , winner , comedian , Paralympic athlete and journalist Nelufar Hedayat.

Together, they walked nearly 300 kilometres from Austria to the sacred abbey of Einsiedeln in Switzerland, carving their way through
the awe-inspiring but gruelling terrain of the Austrian and Swiss Alps. The goal? To explore faith, question identity and, maybe, find some sense of clarity and even friendship along the way.

But for Jay, 34, the experience began with a weight already pressing heavily on his heart. “I had a lot of anticipatory nerves before the show,” he says. “I knew I’d talk about Tom Parker at some point during filming.”

Tom wasn’t just a bandmate – Jay has previously described how he was like a brother. The pair first soared to stardom together in 2009 as part of the chart-topping boyband alongside , and .

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The group took a hiatus in 2014 and, while their lives moved in different directions, the bond between them remained strong. But everything changed in October 2020 when , a rare and aggressive brain cancer. Although he describes himself as agnostic, the news led Jay to place his faith in a higher power.

“While Tom was sick, I definitely had moments where I prayed, whether you would call it that,” Jay says. “And when he died I suddenly felt like, ‘I wonder if he can hear me now?’” Tom was 33 when he died in 2022, leaving behind , daughter Aurelia and son Bodhi.

The loss was devastating and Jay carried the grief with him into filming the show. But it wasn’t until a moment with his fellow pilgrim Helen that the dam broke. “That was the most poignant conversation I had during the whole experience,” he says.

Everything kicked off when Pilgrimage director Toni Williamson encouraged him to find someone within the cast to share his pain over Tom’s death. “She asked me who I trusted with that and who I wanted to talk to about it,” Jay says.

Of all the pilgrimage group, Helen, 70, became Jay’s closest confidante. “She’s not afraid to speak her mind, but she knows when to hold back too,” Jay says. “I knew we were going to get along the moment I saw her walking up that hill in the beginning. We ended up sharing drinks and stories.”

Through it all, Jay was surprised to find he was healing as he wrestled with his beliefs. “The closest I can get to what I am is agnostic. I don’t believe there is a God and I don’t believe that there isn’t,” he says.

“I believe we’re stuck here in this mortal realm and you only find out if there’s an afterlife when you go beyond the curtain, so I’m really open to there being more.

I agreed to go on Pilgrimage – it just sounded like the perfect thing to do. Grief circled me back around. I had a good hard look at it and I left it behind. I was happy to find value in the here and the now, and seeing everyone else go through their own pilgrimage.”

Raised a Catholic, Jay recalls his passion for RE at school, but his convictions waned as he grew up. “I remember making posters against euthanasia in school,” he says. “I was convinced nobody should be allowed a dignified death. Now I think the complete opposite.”

He may not have found God while making the show, but he did find something else. “I remember thinking during my chat with Helen, ‘If there’s no God, at least there’s this moment of human connection,’” he says.

Amid solemn reflections and long days of hiking, there were lighter moments too. Jay recalls an awkward encounter with Harry that left them all in hysterics.

“We got into an outdoor bath one day and this woman in her seventies came and washed us down. She didn’t speak a word of English, she’d only reply in German.”

Jay and Harry also found themselves entertaining each other with bizarre bets, much to Helen’s bemusement. “We started this game – what are the chances we see a nun in the next 30 minutes?”

Jay says. “If you lost, there’d be forfeits. Some of them definitely won’t make it to air – we were very naughty.” He says Helen never quite grasped the rules or even the concept, despite having them explain it to her at least three times.

His early religious faith may not have been restored, but Pilgrimage left its mark. “With Strictly [Jay in 2015], you delve into the self. With Pilgrimage, you delve into religion and, in doing that, you end up giving away so much about who you are,” he says.

He admits he started out sceptical and on his guard. “At first, we were all being careful, but eventually you can’t help but open up.” The stripped-back nature of the experience helped too.

Phones were rarely used while filming and meals were, most often, shared without distraction. The group walked, talked and rested all in sync. “At night, we’d touch base briefly but honestly, I was exhausted.”

Jay might not have found definitive answers about faith, but what he did find was incredibly powerful – peace, human connection and a space to celebrate a friend who had a huge impact on his life.

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